“We need to learn the slow ‘yes’ and the quick ‘no.’” -Tom Friel
I have had a tough time saying No, from the start. My experience with it began long ago. The twenties is a period where we begin to learn to make decisions, and as complete beginners, we fail often, try to please people and we say yes without a thought in order to do most things in the minimum stipulated time.
These are the three reasons I tell myself on saying No:
1. Other’s Reaction Is Their Responsibility
Often we say yes to please others and end up in a tight spot, stressed out and guilty of saying yes. We are often afraid of hurting the other person or disappointing them. But it is essential to remember that you can’t please everyone and like my father says, disappointment is better than resentment.
2. Say No to Say Yes to Important Things
This is the time where there are so many things to do and so little time. But it is essential to prioritise. Say no to certain things, so that you can make time to do things that are fulfilling and essential.
3. Emotional & Mental Well-Being
I often ended up saying yes to so many things that I did not want to or over-worked myself. Sometimes we end up doing this with people who are mere acquaintances who are not worth the effort and turmoil. The mind keeps thinking and feeling guilty of saying no for a long time and going gets tough.
These are all very good points. It’s surprise how hard saying no may be, but as you pointed out, sometimes it’s for the best.
We should just be careful not to overdo the no, because that’s not fair either.
@JazzFeathers
The Old Shelter – 1940s Film Noir
Yes it’s very hard to say No. But doing so let’s you breathe n take care of yourself better.
Nonchalant morning walk
This is such an important concept to get our heads around. We all want to be liked and we all want to do the right thing, but sometimes you have to step back and decided if it’s good for you to say yes to everything. Priorities are so important aren’t they?
Leanne | cresting the hill
Well said, and so true! Why does it take so long to learn this? N is for Nuggets and News ~ Build a Better Blog #atozchallenge
That third point especially resonates with me… I lost a lot of peace fretting over saying yes to things I did not want to do simply to please people.
Never get stuck in that rut.
Learning the power of NO early is a boon. Thanks for the reminder.
Yes!
Well said. Saying no is the hardest part and at times you not only suffer yourself but also cause stress amongst others around you. I worked with a lovely lady who unfortunately could never say ‘No’ to anyone and as a result all of her team members suffered many times to handle too much workload.
Name : Gayatri Gadre
Blog : Be young 4ever
#AtoZChallenge Theme : Travel (off the beaten track)
Have read so many posts about this, my own N past last year in a to z was this.
yours is precise and just right
http://poojasharmarao.blogspot.in/2017/04/n-neruda-pablo-inspirational-writers.html
I am guilty of that. Your post was a reminder that I need to keep working on myself for my own well-being
Nasty
Learning to say no and not feel guilty has been one of the hardest things for me. I was raised (as lots of women are) to be nice and to always put others first. It was only after many years of realizing that I always put myself dead-last that I finally realized it was okay to consider my own needs and not agree to every request. I hope I’ve managed to convey to my daughter that it’s not a good thing for her to be overly concerned about pleasing others but to keep things/requests/relationships in balance.
For a good beginning, we must learn to say no to ourselves. Like when we have craving for sweets. Then it would be easier to say NO to others. It is better to regret a short while saying NO than regret doing what you don’t enjoy. Much worse the other person whom tried not to displease doesn’t even bother that you have favoured him.
I have learnt it the hard way that you need to say no to survive!
Yes to the no! The older you get, the more you realize that saying no is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. It’s not being selfish; it’s simply a matter of setting healthy boundaries and priorities.
Amazing gifs. I love that saying about learning the slow yes and the quick no. I’m going to make it my mantra. At the beginning of the year I just decided I would say NO to everything on principal. A bit brattish I know but after a life time of Yessing I revelled in it. And life became much easier.
I think saying NO is the most difficult thing one can do specially when it tests all your limits. But a NO is a NO and for some reason people still take No as a Maybe. A movie like PINK for example had to be made few years earlier but its never too late.
I like all the topics you have selected! Some really #uglytruth must tell you which is so needed in todays world to realize whats important and whats not.
Ramya, your reflections on learning to say no are insightful. Prioritizing well-being and embracing disappointment over resentment are crucial lessons for a balanced and fulfilling life. Kudos to your journey!