Septembers have been my favorite month always, simply for the reason that I love the number 9 and I celebrate my birthday on this month. This time it is quite different for I feel a change in myself. I have accepted myself as I am.
The past few months have been a roller-coaster ride with so many highs and lows and I think it was life’s way of welcoming me to adulthood. My novice ways and honesty has brought nothing but trouble but that adulthood can never take it from me. A few days after I welcomed the realization of adulthood, I did not know if growing up was good after all. No,it isn’t. But we have no control over it so I searched ways of shielding myself from it. Bad idea.
I began to think a lot in my safe shell. So in the sea of thoughts and months of introspection, I realized so many things of adulthood that I had spent blissfully unaware. This month, I will be sharing all the learnings that have resulted out of my introspection. I am still a work in progress, but the first lesson is an absolutely necessary one.
The first lesson: Self-Love.
In the years that I have known myself, I have been a submissive person and only recently a friend pinpointed it and urged me to change. What started as respect to elders and letting go for the younger ones turned terrible at a point. A point where saying no was impossible and going to self-critical mode was easier.
I was surrounded by so many inferiority complexes that people around me created regarding my appearance, choice of study and everything that they could possibly think of for quite a long time that I had learned to ignore it. But deep inside I knew it wasn’t as easy as I assumed it to be. On the outside, I smiled and ignored the lewd and insensitive comments and on the inside, I was dying a painful death. And the best part of adulthood was the realization that things had to change.
The past few months of introspection has made me realize that it needed immense self-love not to go into the self-critical mode. That it was okay, okay if people did not like you and did not accept your opinions. It needs great self-love to say no because you are putting yourself ahead and it isn’t wrong at all. I had to believe that there was nothing wrong with me ever and I am the best and that I was sufficient. And I realized I have been the most critical person in my life and I did not want to live with that person anymore,because if I did not love myself, how could I expect others to?
That is how I began and it wasn’t an easy ride at all, but I now put myself first, I accepted compliments and stopped undervaluing myself. I stopped mincing words and fooling myself. I also realized self-love is more than pampering yourself in the spa but instead loving your own company in a cafe full of people surrounded by friends. I celebrated myself.
Then I told myself this daily and constantly:
Just remember you are beautiful and it doesn’t matter if others don’t know it.
As I struggle and learn to know myself better. Ask yourselves if you truly love yourselves because it needs a humongous will and acceptance to love yourself.
Do you love YOU?
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And currently my Global Alexa Rank is : 1,072,823. I know you will drop down. Won’t you? 😉
Such beautiful and bold posts. It takes courage to be against everyone to put oneself in first place. You did right Ramya and am happy you’re on right track and self image is more imp. Than what others think of us. Well done !
So true,Shalini. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Self love is beautiful, powerful and above all works like a magic potion keeping us from harm’s way. Kudos to you for digging deep into your being, finding the shortcomings in your attitude and toiling till you found answers to everything cause of your grief.
Stay put & keep loving yourself, because road to a happy life begins from self-love.
Right you are ME. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Love yourself my friend 🙂
& watch how, the world comes to you !!
P.S : I felt so much related to the post.
My path to self-love so far has been blissful I must say. Thank you so much,Sam. I am glad you felt so. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Adulthood is a constant work in progress (I’m in my 60’s and still developing) and finding and loving yourself is an important part of maturing. You’ll continue to grow and develop as you progress in your journey. Welcome!
How true, Alana. Thank you 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
This is a beautiful post. Keep loving yourself please 🙂
Thank you so much,Neha. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
September and 9 is a great combination. More power and love to you . You rock girl
Isn’t it? 😉 Thank you so much,Anindya. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Beautiful post, no matter what happens, don’t go into the shell, love yourself and live life to the fullest !
Thank you,Atul. I intend to. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Self Love is the hardest lesson to learn, but once you learn it it makes life so much easier. I identify with your post so much.
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I can see how right you are,Jai. I am glad you could identify with the post. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Just remember you are beautiful and it doesn’t matter if others don’t know it.!!!Yeah, that’s very well said, and strongly too. It takes very less to know that what others think of us is a matter of time pass to them and it actually has nothing to do who you actually are.
http://simpleindianmom.in/top-bollywood-celebrities-stand-organic-foods/
Such powerful thoughts Menaka. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
That’s a great learning Ramya. I am sure all of us at various stages of our lives tend to be critical to the point that we slowly start feeling that we aren’t good in anything and thus bringing a lot of negativity around us.
We need to sit down and think what are we actually trying to achieve in our lives. We really can’t please each and everyone :). Really beautifully expressed :D.
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Right you are,Aseem. Also introspection could lead to really great things.
Thank you so much,Aseem. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Only when you love yourself you can love others. Neatly penned
Right you are Anil. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
For the self love this post is a hit 🙂
Birthday month #Ahhaaa
And ye your are beautiful :***
Loving the changes in blog
Thank you so much,Dixu! 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Such a strong post, Ramya! Self love is actually everything, if we can luv ourselves then there is nothing which weighs more than that. Keep writing! More power to you girl!
Such kind words Saumy. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
A strong post 🙂 We tend to be critical for most of things and we do better sometimes, but it’s way important to stop in our tracks, take time to love yourself and make the ride of life more beautiful 🙂 Cheers.
Self-criticism can be deadly. True. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Hmm..It is a lovely post and I am glad that you wrote about it..I know how hard it is to share your personal thoughts..but believe me you, It is really important to love yourself first and I keep telling my girls this everyday. As an introvert and a shy girl, I had some similar thoughts but now it all changed and I have learned it the hard way that life is all about loving yourself. Keep rocking and writing! Looking forward to more such posts 🙂
http://kreativemommy.com/
You are so right Deepa. It isn’t an easy task to share personal posts. And you are a super mommy 🙂 Thank you so much for the kind words,Deepa.:)
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Self love brings out the individual in you, and all the confidence you need. I see the brilliance you radiate in this post! And have a rocking September! Party time! 😉
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Self-love brings out all the beautiful things of a person. You are too kind,Dashy. Thank you so much. I did have a good party and you have a great September too(Of what is left ;))
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Self-love, such an important lesson to learn, and I’m glad you’ve learnt it well. Beautiful post Ramya!
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Thank you so much,Shinjini. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
This post shows lot of maturity and self awareness. It is really commendable to be a veteran over young (I presume) shoulders. The candid statements are really connecting with the readers. I should say from the bottom of my heart this post is a touching post. Well written Ramya.
Thank you so much,Rakesh. You just made my day. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Beautiful words Ramya… it is very important to love yourself first … life teaches us this lesson in different ways … I loved how you have shared your story.
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Thank you so much Raj! 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
I fall in love with you after reading your words & also in love with me again 🙂
Must read post for everyone & fall in love
That is so good to know. Thank you. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Oh yes I love me..
Wonderful post.
🙂
Thank you so much,Anshul 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Beautifully written, Ramya.
I somehow was picturing my sister as I read through your words. I’ve seen her self-loath and go into those sad depressed phase. I’m glad she is coming out of it and I’m sure when she reads this post, she will be a lot more confident in herself.
Thanks for writing this.
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I would be glad to have helped that way,Shalini. Thanks for reading, sharing a piece of your mind and the post. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Wow! I wrote something similar to this earlier. I have faced these and I still face them. The difference is, I realised people should be respected not for their age, but for their values. Respect doesn’t mean putting up with every shit people throw at you. I now put self respect first. Respect to others next. Good that you realised it too Ramya!
You may enjoy this post of mine : https://nathnitales.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/hey-you-yes-you-you-are-beautiful/ 🙂
This is so true,Ranjini. Thanks for dropping by. Will read your post. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Agree if you can love yourself u can love all else… All love is fake!!
Thank you Ruchi, for stopping by and sharing. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Self love is so important, dear namesake. One gets caught up in being the ideal person and giving way to others. But sometimes, we really need to learn to say no without being obliged to anyone. It’ll take me a lifetime to learn this.
So true. I know, it is difficult but a journey worthwhile. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
I’ve discovered that self love is the only way to heal ourselves and move forward, Ramya. Thanks for sharing.
I am seeing how good a healer it is. Thank you so much for stopping by,Corinne. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…How I learned to accept failure
Such an honest post, Ramya, and I could resonate with it on so many aspects. It sure takes humungous will to love yourself. And I am still struggling with it. There is this constant nagging thing that constantly brings me down and take out all the not-so-good-qualities I have. It sure is a difficult phase, but I’m sure this too will pass!
Loved your post to the core!
Cheers
Geets
Hugs Geets! I really hope you are embraced by self-love, because it is within you. 🙂
Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Until you live yourself truly madly deeply. NO one else will.Life’s lesson from Mills and Boon worked for me. Self love is important for self improvement. Great post.
True that Amrita. Will read the book. Thank you so much! 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Fantastic post Ramya! And now I love you even more….for being this totally sweet, sensitive and humble girl!! Self love is so important, once you have that, it arms you to battle all hurdles in life with a smile. Looking forward to your future posts.
I loves you too, Kala! Thank you so much. 🙂 <3
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Self love is self acceptance and a journey towards growth and becoming a better version of yourself. Beautiful post!
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True that,Aditi. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
I am in love with the way you are managing this blog. Kudos
Oh,thank you so much. Lots of efforts and your comment just made it all worth the efforts. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Until one loves self and respect self it’s hard to get it back. I am totally in love with me, and there are times when I completely hate myself. This love hate relationship is ok for me i guess.
Yeah. As long as the self-criticism doesn’t drive us insane, the love hate relationship is fine. Thanks for dropping by Tina! 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
The roller coaster appears familiar to me. Bravo to you for the realisation that self-love is far more important. Putting oneself first is not an act of selfishness as the other critical people or that critical voice in our head might interpret it. It is an empowering means. More power to you, Ramya 🙂
Such a powerful and deep thought,Anamika that is. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Being extremely submission can harm ones self esteem too…Nice post!
Thank you Shweta 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Lovely post Ramya! I can agree with you on so many points as I myself am on the learning process to start saying NO.
More power to you Rohan. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
self confidence does help a lot and trust me if you do not appreciate yourself, others won’t. Good write up.
True that Ekta. Welcome to humble abode. Thanks for reading and appreciating.
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Such a touching article, just loved it!! Keep writing. Looking forward to continuously read your blog posts.
Thank you so much,Nidhi 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
I am sure everyone has important things added already! You tell me, when are we meeting?
Haha! Very soon. I will plan and text you. 😉
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
sometimes self doubt comes in our way. WE lose focus and tend to manifest negative thoughts which start to grow within. Kill this negativity and I am sure we all are was into loving oneself!!
So true Ramya. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Hey Gorgeous – what a wonderfully penned down blog!?! I loved it and if you go through mine ( pls do) , you will see why I am insisting… 😉
Cheers to a happy to you month!!!
love
Thank you so much Shalini! And I di go through your beautiful blog. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Lovely post Ramya! Beginning to love your self is the first way to a better life. Because if you love yourself, you will have the strength to face any challenges that life throws on your way.
True that, Reema. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
That was a fantastic post Ramya! Self love is more important to handle relations who constantly show hatred and treat us like useless creatures.
Self-Love is the weapon and magic,Janani. Thank you so much. 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Kamaal post this is. 🙂 Keep being the same. Cheers!
Thank you so much,Ashu! 🙂
Ramya Rao recently posted…When She Found
Well, a lot of folks think that loving yourself is selfish and narcissistic. What’s funny though is that true self-love can’t be narcissistic. Self-love is loving; narcissism is just selfishness, which is not loving. Self-love starts by giving love, attention and care to yourself, but if that is where we stop, then it stops being self-love. Self-love that is not extended to other people and given away isn’t self-love. The flow of love and self-love is a giving and a receiving. Self-love is not all about “me, me, me”; but it starts with “me” so that we can build a strong “we”. Think of self-love as the foundation of a happy and full life, but not the full expression of it. The full expression of Love comes when we give Love away and, because the Love of The Uni-verse is infinite and our true Source, we lose nothing by giving our Love away.
It’s important to love the self where the I should always be priority and not an option. One should be done with serving others and lost in the scheme of things. Beautifully said.