This is the last post in the series of the life lessons I have learned. And the last lesson would be self-esteem and why high self -esteem became an important part.
I have always been a perfectionist, and this nature of mine never let me give time to myself. While I began introspecting, I realized I was so busy being perfect to others that I hardly thought about myself. At times, I did not want to think because it hurt because I only could think of all the failures and broken relationships and that is why I had stopped introspecting . Keeping myself busy with was an escape from the reality.
In the recent past, I wanted to be friends with myself, it began with self-love. In this cruise, I have come to realize that there are so many things that I don’t know about myself, like a treasure waiting to be found. At times I amaze myself by my wit, and at times by my sheer stupidity. In the entire journey of self-discovery, another important lesson that I have learned is to have high self-esteem.
It took me quite some time to realize my status of self-esteem. Like if someone asked you, about self – respect you would never say I am low on it. While the reality is you don’t even know. I was under the assumption that I had high self-esteem, until one day someone hurt my self-esteem. I realized I was so low on it that it took few days to make me realize that it was a huge blow to my self-esteem and not my ego. When your ego takes the blow, you prove that you are good enough but with the former, there remains no point in proving.
It needs such a deep sense of self-worth while I was so shy on accepting credits and when I actually deserved one I never received it. Such things curb career growth and you feel threatened. Body and mind react to it and results in anger and frustration, which brings no good. Although this is an extension of self-love, self-esteem is much more than that. It involves the following:
- Letting go of the baggage.
- Saying No when it is necessary.
- Making mistakes and being okay with it. Open to failure.
- Be kind to yourself and others.
These are things I am doing, but skipping all the details of how good low self-esteem was a friend. I will tell you how I chose to unfriend it. I tell myself now not to worry about the choices I make and beat myself about it and that I can’t keep everyone happy and that certainly should not me by aim too. It was the most difficult thing and it still is. One can’t stop over thinking and worrying about others over-night. But my headaches had increased and my peace of mind became more important.
And a few days back I read this quote :
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Stephen Chbosky
While this may mean many things to many people, to me it means that until we don’t love and respect ourselves enough, loving others becomes tedious. One needs high self-esteem and only then can they accept and give back the love that they get from others.
The more I think about this quote, I feel so grateful to life that I realized about my self-esteem early, I pour my heart out to you without any shame because I am no longer that person and the change feels good and refreshing. My mind and heart are light and at ease.
We are our own enemies and having high self-esteem helps. It removes the self-sabotage nature and over-thinking reduces by heaps. The emotional roller-coaster rides reduce and the inner-self is at peace and has space for other important things to think about. I have left behind the nagging feeling that pulled me down way behind in this journey.
This time I leave you with this quote,ask you to introspect and tell me all that came out of it and your thoughts on self-esteem:
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao-Tzu
I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter . Also linking it to Friday Reflections
This is one of the best non-fiction or say motivational series I’ve read so far! It’s true that how we define self-respect in our head never matches to what we experience in reality. Real life experiences are always different and glad you shared your views thru this series, Ramya! Loved it! 🙂
Saumy Nagayach recently posted…मन का खेल..
Ramya just read all your parts. Letting go of the baggage… this according to me has been the toughest. I hold on to negative emotions all bottled up and agree that somewhere that brigs down my whole personality and my self esteem. I am working on it, but still have a long way to go.I need to learn to move on.
I agree with you that we are certainly are own enemies. And fighting this enemy inside us, is surely the best way to lead that life of high self esteem and a more confident person.!!!
Self-esteem is a big lesson to crack. Often we fail at it because we are so conditioned to “behave nicely” and think about what others will think that we don’t stop and see how these nice behaviors may be hurting us instead. It’s a hard road sometimes but worth it I believe!
Modern Gypsy recently posted…The Red Thread
This is a great series.Love how you are doing this self improvement journey snd sharing with us.
Letting go of past baggage is the most difficult thing for me.But that’s what I am working on now
Thanks a lot for this post Ramya!Much needed one.Many a time,we just do not give enough credit for ourselves.Having a good self-esteem is definitely going to make us feel a lot better
Superb ! I’m sure people will fall in love with themselves all over again after reading your wonderful series.
I’m definitely a chronic over thinker. You’re right: accepting failure and being kind to yourself are important steps. Thanks for writing this. Visiting via #FridayReflections
Those four points which you listed! If only it was easier, especially for a sensitive person like me, I would have felt much more confident. Thanks for writing this post, dear Ramya. I hope you feel better soon.
Shalini R recently posted…Eleventh Hour
Very good one post, we don’t talk to yourself because we fear facing on our own soul, being perfect to others somewhat changes our attitude to our own self .
Nice write up
very beautiful post & agreed with your points yeah one should learn to say no & show up courage . keep up the good work 🙂
Self esteem is a difficult thing to achieve and once it is achieved it is bound to stay with you. A lovely post Ramya!!
Lovely..self esteem is very important as it is something which is achieved when we start believing that we are amazing the way we are. Loved the series..keep writing and keep believing in yourself 🙂
I am absolutely loving these posts. More power to you!
I loved the raw emotions in your post… written with so much honesty. I actually went to wiki and looked for definition of self esteem. Your post had forced me to revalue mine and made me think if I can be easily hurt. Beautiful series Ramya.
rajlakshmi recently posted…5 things I did this Weekend
I think the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to be open to failure. I suffered from lack of self esteem for a portion of my life. I am still easily hurt, and it can be hard for me to try something new due to the fear of failure. Better to stay with the familiar – except that it is not better.
Another small tip for boosting your self esteem: on days when you feel low, look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself three amazing facts about yourself and smile. Just smile. You’ll feel much better after that.
Much hugs and love to you Ramya. ❤
One of the other things I realised in my journey as important to high self esteem is being open to change. In you and in others around you. Ramya great series of posts and kudos to you for writing this.
Jaibala Rao recently posted…Fear
Being able to accept your personality and be content with the way you are, is one of the lessons life has taught me.
The last quote nailed it and the introspection in all the posts since you started is and am quite confident the day you complete The Secret, you’ll be more powered about yourself.
I’d say these are lessons in life and it’s such a tough teacher that defines our existence. It makes us very strong. I am glad how you learned high self-esteem.
Very inspiring post it is Ramya. It’s one of the very important part we should possess in life and I’ve seen people lacking it. Sorry for dropping by late on your blog though.
Abhinav Kumar recently posted…When You Convert Challenge Into An Opportunity #MyFriendAlexa
Very motivating
I am taking a few pointers along.
Beautiful post with great insights into your being- but these reflections reasonate with me too. Self esteem is a big issue with us woman especially as our conditioning right from birth is of a lower sex.
Brave of you to come out and introspect this and write about it too.
Well done gurl!