Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.
-Joel Osteen
My guest today is anger and frustration and this quote sums up so many things perfectly.I promised to end the series but this life lesson was something that I haven’t learned and understood how to tackle yet. And after a good conversation yesterday which gave me the much-needed push, I decided to write about it because this does more harm to me than any other thing.
I am a patient person in general. Okay, maybe I was a patient person. I wouldn’t get frustrated if the bus conductor gave me the ticket last, I would patiently wait for him. I used to not mind people jumping the queue because I assumed they had something more important. But recently my anger has been at its peak. I think I truly define the word short-tempered. I am not happy telling you this but I can’t deny the fact and I don’t lie.
What I have come to realize is that I have my own personal rule book. When someone breaks my rule book or forces me to break my own routine and rules the anger that fills in crosses all the boundaries and results in tears, which is the highest form of anger. This is apart from shouting and the entire day going bad of course.
And as I pondered more and more, I realized that my anger was because people gave themselves so much importance that the other person hardly mattered to them. Few people just don’t understand the difference between self-love and selfishness.
I being an extremely sensitive person can’t turn highly insensitive to others needs or mine. Only if people would truly understand the meaning of empathy. And yet again this is a strong belief that runs my personal rule book. I get agitated and angry when things don’t go my way. It is human nature. Isn’t it? Everyone wants things to go their way and only a few have truly mastered the art of not getting angry when it doesn’t.
There is a battle within, a zillion thoughts running inside and frustrated with so many things which have no solution or anything my tiny brain is irked with and I vent it out on my family and friends. Home is the only place where I can expect things to go according to me or at least where I can be at peace with my thoughts and when it doesn’t even there the entire day is ruined.
With all said and done, and various anger management methods tried I have realized it is me who is in control of everything, not my surroundings. Things are bound to change and they always will. Everyone I meet will not share the same opinion as mine. None can think and care about me like I can and will for myself.
So I have decided that from this moment on I will be the change I want to see and go lenient with the rules of mine with others and not let anyone make me break it. As of now this seems like the best option to me.
Do you have any other suggestions to me apart from meditation, counting 1 to 10 and taking deep breaths? How do you deal with anger with a lot of mental pressure or in general?
And thank you for sticking with me and being a great support through the entire life lesson series. Life is beautiful with all you lovely folks around. 🙂
You can catch up with the series here:
- Lesson 1: What Self-Love Means To Me
- Lesson 2:Why I Had To Learn To Let Go
- Lesson 3:How I had to Make Peace with NO
- Lesson 4:Why I started practicing gratitude
- Lesson 5: How I learned to accept failure
- Lesson 6: How I learned to have high self-esteem
I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter .
I really hope you succeed in this. I couldn’t. I yell, scream and do all those nonsense stuff which I immediately regret doing. But then, I am known for my impulsiveness 🙂
Shalini recently posted…You’re Toast!
I am still working on my Anger management issues,Some day! Loved all your posts on life lessons.
What I love about your self improvement series is you always hit the nail on the head .It’s always ourselves who should have control over our emotions.Any external behaviour spoiling our inner peace just increases stress.
This is my daily struggle.I wonder too about why people have such low levels of empathy.
Maybe it’s because of this quality in you, me ,us we are where we are.
Empathy is really the ability to feel others pain.So we are destined to have more work than other people.
Beautifully expressed.
I am on this journey too.Am short tempered to.But I am better now(I think) than 2 years before.
But still scary when angry.
Anger Management is difficult.But yes,as you mentioned it is we who have to control our emotions.It is not that everytime circumstances will be favourable for us
wishing you all success in this . I am sure you will succeed in this too. Great write up
Good write up ramya! In this fast moving world filled with gadgets and automation, almost everyone of us are preoccupied, want things done instantly and couldn’t be patient any more. So we hang around with anger and short temper all the time. Anger management is definitely a much needed life lesson for this generation people! The key is we have to realize it and take action.
Ahh anger … most vile of the emotions. Glad that you are trying to control it. It’s not worth the effort to make others follow a rule… it only leads to frustration and expectations not met. I loved your series and how honest you have been about yourself.
Rajlakshmi recently posted…5 things I did this Weekend
Angry outbursts, tantrums, saying mean things in the heat of the moment, I’ve done it all.
Till I read a quote saying, ‘What angers you , conquers you’
Bas. That did it for me.
I also have made it a habit to immediately walk away from a situation that I know will result in an outburst and when I can’t walk away physically, I just start imagining a donkeys face on the person who is causing the anger. It always works:)
The fact that you want to evolve, from what I understand from all your posts, Ramya, is commendable in it self. Don’t be in a rush to change, just one baby step at a time works fine too, as I believe that forcefully suppressing any emotion, or making it change just makes matters worse.
Wishing you loads of luck and sending you a big hug.
I actually think of my kids when I get really angry as I know they are watching me..Like u even I used to be a very patient person but now I guess even I get upset even on small things. Good to know that you are trying..all the best to u 🙂
Deepa recently posted…By: Deepagandhi
Aren’t we all in the same boat? We all do learn and grow up in this matter but the most important thing here is that the damage we do in the process of getting angry is a waste of our health. Your decision to be in control is fabulous and I am sure you will stick to it. More power 🙂
you said it. This is one of the toughest challenges of life and it may be because of external factors but many a times it is to do with oneself and not others. Wishing you success in this not so easy task.
I would like to add Swami Vivekananda’s quote, which/who is my guiding spirit
ARISE, AWAKE aND STOP NOT TILL GOAL IS REACHED.
Anger if not controlled, goes uncontrollable. It’s an emotion and important to let it out but in a positive manner. I get angry but personally, hard for me to let it out. Sometimes, it acts as a negative. Thank you for that reminder.
Even I need to know some new techniques to calm down